Saturday, December 2, 2023

New Outdoor Column! And Different Stuff Too! – Motorcycle Snob NYC

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Right here’s my newest Outdoor column, which is ready why biking must by no means have surrendered totally to Large Dick Disc:

And earlier than you get all angry, I’m now not announcing there shouldn’t be any disc brakes. I’m simply announcing it’s foolish that almost all bicycles now have them. Pulling a bunch out of my ass, I’d say it is smart for like 25% of bicycles to have discs; the remainder must have rim brakes. (Or some mixture of coaster and drum brakes if it’s a town motorcycle that lives out of doors. And I’m now not factoring e-bikes into this calculation, since for the sake of this brake-related dialogue I wish to fake that they don’t exist.) However Large Dick Disc is aware of that once one rider will get a large dick disc then each and every different rider feels both insufficient or like they’re lacking out and desires a large dick disc too. So now it’s nice giant dicks discs to your face in every single place you glance.

Talking of rim brakes, I freely admit I’m below the affect of Large Lug, and Rivendell in fact is the BlackRock of the Rim Brake Commercial Complicated. Consider it or now not, they by no means inquire from me to say stuff like this, however I came about to note that you’ll be able to now pre-order a Platypus entire:

[Photo: Rivendell, probably with one of those old-timey cameras where you hide under a curtain and the flash is a giant explosion]

I like my very own Platypus dearly:

And I will be able to completely relate to this sentiment:

I imply if I had to make a choice at gunpoint it could without a doubt be the Platypus. Or perhaps the Jones. Or perhaps I’d simply pass with a highway motorcycle and determine I’ll take the subway the remainder of the time. Or perhaps…you recognize what? Fuck it, simply shoot me.

Nonetheless, the entire model turns out like an effective way to get your self a Platypus for those who’re now not sitting on sufficient portions (figuratively talking, by no means sit down on motorcycle portions, particularly cassettes and seatposts with out saddles on them) to make build up a body a cost-effective proposition. My spouse’s Clem Smith used to be additionally a whole from in another country and in the case of the portions and the meeting we couldn’t be extra happy with it.

In the meantime, “growth” marches on, and New York Town is lifting its cap on for-hire vehicles (that’s Ubers and Lyfts)…simply so long as they’re electrical:

As I’ve discussed earlier than, those cars have come to account for far of the site visitors within the town, so at this level it sort of feels delusional to imagine that congestion pricing in New York Town will in reality cut back congestion. Nevertheless it’ll be electrical congestion, so no less than you received’t listen the automobile earlier than it runs you over.

In the meantime, the legislative motion in New York Town to require e-bike registration continues to draw supporters:

To be completely transparent, I don’t in any respect improve this. Why? As it’s silly. If license plates stopped other people from working other people over or crashing into every different we wouldn’t see 40,000 motor automobile deaths a yr on this nation. Additionally, as I do know from non-public revel in, using a automobile that calls for licensing or registration under no circumstances prevents the NYPD from issuing me a summons if I make a choice to wreck site visitors regulation. It additionally doesn’t save you them from charging a bicyclist who kills any individual with a major crime, despite the fact that they make a choice now not to take action.

On the similar time, the location with e-bikes (and motor scooters, at this level in New York Town you in point of fact can’t separate the 2) is terribly irritating. The have been intended to get other people out of vehicles or one thing, however all they’ve in point of fact performed is accentuate current anti-bike sentiment, whilst fucking up the bicycle community as well. Simply as I believe e-bike licensing is silly I’d additionally by no means name for them to be banned, however I additionally suppose it’s time to transport on from all of the idealism round e-bikes and recognize the brand new problems they reason:

Who cares in the event that they get gas-powered motor scooters, sign in them with the DOT, and experience them within the streets the place they belong? That’s higher than what’s these days occurring within the motorcycle lanes. I think the “safety-in-numbers” impact for normal bicyclists stops running as soon as a vital selection of motorcycles within the community are throttle-powered.

Like bicycle brakes, bicycle advocacy was once easy: motorcycles are nice, we must make it more secure for other people to experience them. Now motorcycles are electrical and social media is pervasive so it’s grow to be an ideological battle that regularly feels designed to alienate other people:

Fuck it, I’m leasing an electrical Hyundai.

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